Lies & Why I Can’t Move to Florida

lie!

The statement above is clearly a lie.

However, when my daughter and I bought the plaque last summer we totally believed it. It still hangs on our door but I’ve hidden it with a kindergarten Valentine project from G.

I’m a flip flop girl. Even living here in the Northeast I could still somehow get through winter with my flip flops, some snow boots and a slip on mule-type shoe (with socks, of course.)

mule

 

Not this year.

Last week I finally broke down and bought sneakers. I haven’t owned a pair of sneakers in close to fifteen years. I wore them to the office the other day and my brother (who works next to me) noticed them immediately.

“Nice sneakers, Bec.” he says.  Which in sibling talk means,

“You know you look like a Dork in those shoes, right?”

I confess, I’m terribly self-conscious about the sneakers. I’m 40. I’m a mom. I’m sure the sneakers have caused my butt to spread at least four inches. What I’m trying to say is –

I’m. Just. Not. A Sneaker. Girl.

I have considered moving to Florida where I could wear flip flops all day forever and ever for the rest of my life. The only problem is, I watch way too much Animal Planet.

Not only would I have to worry about alligators and crocodiles snapping up my little ones in the back yard, but now Florida is overrun with terrifying Invasive Species like the Burmese Python and Snakeheads.

burmese-python-invasive-species Snakehead_fishJust the name: “snakehead” is enough to keep me out of Florida. Yeeeeee.

I suppose I’ll just have to make my peace with the sneaks.

 

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14 thoughts on “Lies & Why I Can’t Move to Florida

  1. Well. I always seem to have something to say on your posts. Long ago my daughter, now 33, banned me from wearing sneaks with jeans. Only sweats or exercise type clothes. So that scarred me way back. What kind of pants were yousporting withthe new sneaks? Not odd brand I hope…

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  2. The last time I wore flip flops, I slipped on some wet grass and broke my arm … then had to drive myself to the hospital.

    Once I had 1-1/2 pairs of sneakers at a time. (That’s because the puppies chewed the whatsit out of one of the shoes.

    Looking forward to your A to Z posts! New subscriber/follower.

    LuAnn Braley
    AJ’s Hooligans @AtoZChallenge
    Back Porchervations

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  3. We are not TOTALLY overrun with snakes in Florida. But to be able to wear flip flops all year, the Keys are the best bet. No pythons there but lots of Iguanas.

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  4. Hi, i just ran across your post. I am a Real Estate Agent here in sunny South Florida, Ive lived here for over 12 years and snakes and alligators is not something you should even worry about. they are only found in the everglades. plus pythons aren’t venomous (; I specialize on helping people escape the cold weather and move to Florida. So if you need any help when here or even before you move, Feel free to contact me. You can also learn a lot about moving here on my website, http://www.mydreamhomefl.com

    Good Luck.

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