Coming off the high of a “new” kitchen I am seriously considering redoing my bedroom. And when I say “redoing” I mean – doing something. Painting, Shabby Chic-ing, Wallpapering the ceiling. Something. For the last two and a half years it has been a place to sleep and change. There is no life. No Me in there. Green walls left over from the previous occupants. A bed, some nasty furniture and an ironing board smack in the middle that serves no purpose but to hold transitional stuff.
I suppose that for the past two and a half years I’ve looked at this little apartment as temporary. A stop in between on the way to somewhere else. Somewhere else – like marriage. Maybe that’s at the heart of it. I hoped to marry. I hope to marry. And Move. Or at least expand. Or at the very least, move out of that bedroom.
But here I am, ready to own it. It’s my place. I need to Make it My Place. A place I want to be. A dwelling.
dwell [dwɛl] vb dwells, dwelling, dwelt [dwɛlt], dwelled (intr)
1. Formal, literary to live as a permanent resident
But around here I like to call it, “No Make-up Day” or occasionally, “Bathe My 6 Year Old Who Hasn’t Seen Soap and Water since Last Saturday Day.”
This afternoon I’m going to refer to is as, “You Better Believe the Kids are Giving Me a Serious Massage after I Shoveled All That Snow Day.”
I prefer not to be locked in to terminology.
I did this.
I decided not to eat sugar for the month of January. And you know what, it really wasn’t a big deal.
By some time in December I started to feel like I could easily go through the day eating nothing but sugar. Sugar sugar sugar. It didn’t feel good. It felt like an addiction. So I thought to myself, why don’t I just choose not to eat any sugar for a month and see what happens.
I didn’t die.
I’m gonna be honest, the experiment was a whole lot easier than I expected. By deciding Not to eat sugar I had diffused The Battle. You know, the battle that happens when you look at that cookie and think, should I or shouldn’t I…. I had begun to lose that battle. Consistently. Or, in other words, like Every. Single. Time. With my sugar “resolution” the decision was made, the battle was neither won nor lost, it was never even fought. It was refreshing and pretty darn easy.
Sure, when the man walking down the aisle of Restaurant Depot eating an enormous chocolate chip cookie passed me by I wanted one too. Bad. But even then, only for a second. The truth is, of all the sugary goodies in the world, the only one that brought me to my knees was breakfast cereal. Even so, I kind of wonder if I wasn’t just craving milk.
I thought that by not eating sugar I would become more thoughtful about what I was eating – in actuality – it got to be a pain. When all I really wanted was a bowl of cereal or a Fiber 1 bar I had to settle for something else. The truth is, I like the convenience of cereal or a bar or a yogurt. Shoot me.
Did I lose weight? Well, I definitely did not gain any, but I didn’t really lose either. However, I did hope to break a couple bad habits. 1. I hoped to stop being a loser and realize that saying no to that cookie is most definitely not gonna kill me. 2. I needed to realize that I didn’t have to be my children’s garbage can. I could just say, (and this is a big deal,) throw it away, when they come to me with a half eaten cupcake or a licked cookie or a dripping ice cream. Throw it away. Anywhere other than my stomach is fine.
If you’re female (or even male) you’ve probably considered at some point in your single life losing weight in order to get into “dating shape.” The if I were thinner, maybe I’d attract someone, line of thinking. I confess, it pops into my mind quite often. But you know what, then I examine my life experience and look at the happily dating and married people around me and I think, plump girls find love too.
*If you’re thinkin’ that title should be on a T-shirt, I’m already there.