Four Ways I Know I’m Forty


I walked into Hollister last week and asked the girl for a “Gift Certificate.” She appeared bewildered for a moment or two and finally stammered out, “Do you mean a Gift Card?” Yes. I am forty. We used to call them Gift “Certificates.” I will probably always refer to them (at least in my mind) as Gift Certificates. I’m old.

Recently, I was minding my own business looking at some books in the local library and a loud toot slipped out unbeknownst to me. I was as shocked as the guy sitting at the table next to me. Did you catch that I was in the LI-BRARY? I apparently have no control over tooting loudly in public and wildly inappropriate places. I am old.

The other night I was out to eat with my BFF at a wonderful Mexican place in town. Before your meal they serve you a basket of tortilla chips and three delicioso salsas. I dipped a few chips and then – I SALTED THEM.  Yes, I salted my tortilla chips. My beloved grandmother who would have never been caught dead without her trusty handbag ALWAYS carried a salt shaker in her purse. Always. I do not exaggerate. The woman went nowhere without extra salt, or her purse. I get it now. I’m old.

Notice Dear Queen Elizabeth in this lovely family portrait from the recent christening - WITH HER PURSE. She probably has a shaker of salktin there.

Notice Dear Queen Elizabeth in this lovely family portrait from the recent christening – WITH HER PURSE. She probably has a shaker of salt in there.

You know how I really know I’m forty – I. Just. Don’t. Care. I’ll confuse teenage sales clerks, toot in public and salt whatever I like – and I really don’t care. I’m cool with it. I’m forty.

14 thoughts on “Four Ways I Know I’m Forty

  1. This cracked me up! I find myself feeling exasperated with teenage clerks and then as I walk away mumbling to myself about what a ninny that person was, I realize I’m crossing a bridge of some sort here. Wasn’t I just a ninny myself?


  2. I’m 40 in a couple of months. Is salting things compulsory? I’m not keen on the taste.

    Visiting from A-Z Challenge


  3. I’m 50, as you know, and one of the ways I am reminded of this is that I don’t know how to operate some new-fangled contraptions on the internet, and “in 3-D.” Although I do better than my 78-year-old father. I guess it’s all relative.


  4. And in case you didn’t know .. someone who is wearing pants that are too short, they are not called “high waters” these days, they are called “floods”. Go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This made me laugh so hard! It was like you were talking about my mom … twenty years ago. Now it’s me. Sigh. I love the purse shot. I knew there was something odd in that picture.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s