Over the years I’ve streamlined the whole Tooth Fairy process. It goes something like this:

Kid: “Mom, my tooth came out.” (Or, if they’re younger: “MOM!! My tooth came out!!!!!)

Mom (Me): “Bring me my purse.”

(Kid brings purse, I hand them a dollar. Kid attempts to hand me the tooth – I point them toward the trashcan.)

That’s it.

Streeeeeeamliiiiiined.

When my big kids were younger I attempted to do the sneaky pillow thing. The truth is, I don’t think I remembered even once to put the dollar under the pillow after they were asleep OR retrieve the tooth. (I don’t know which is worse, actually retrieving the tooth from under the pillow and having to dispose of it, OR the thought of the nasty tooth lost somewhere in, or under, the bed. Ew.)

I did try. I used to fold up the dollar and stick it in my bra so I would remember to do the switch before I went to sleep. It never worked. I would wake up in the morning, go about my business and eventually discover a dollar bill plastered to my boob as I was getting ready to shower. There were a few times I discovered the dollar bill IN the shower.

Tooth Fairy Fail.

The new system works for us. Kids get money. I don’t have to touch the nasty tooth. And my days of sleeping with dollar bills in my bra are over. Tooth. Fairy. WIN!